Trading Places

Hello My Lovelies!

Excuse my tardiness, school is back in session and my assignments are due on Thursdays too. I’m still finding balance…but you understand, right? I might move the blog to Friday ;- ) So today I want to talk about gender roles. I’m gonna touch on a little bit of everything but you know I want to hear your opinion lol.

So yesterday I posted a video on my personal Facebook page of what APPEARED to be a young lady proposing to her man. Let me paint the pic for you! She, with her little white dress, got down on her knees and said something lol. Because they were in a loud club I don’t know exactly what she said but that’s neither here nor there. He looks at the ring, sips his drink, and his posture kinda gave me a “that’s what’s up” vibe. I didn’t expect him to do cartwheels or cry but thennnnn, when she gets up off the floor, she has to pull him up to embrace her -_-.

 I have heard several opinions on this and you already know the name of the blog is SAVED, Single, and Successful so I’ll give you my “churchy” reason first lol. This is what echoed on the post yesterday, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord” Prov. 18:22. Those are my thoughts as well. From the beginning of time we see the Lord establish a man and he pursues the woman. We see Adam and Eve…We know Jacob worked, worked, worked, worked, worked, worked (yes, that was to the tune of Rihanna) for Rachel, and I hope your dad put in work for your mama. People have even argued saying, that the biblical reasons are not enough to support this argument. Well, you do know that you want to take part of HOLY matrimony, right? If you don’t plan on having a Pastor or Priest marry you, you don’t do it in a church, then do your thang girl!

Men are hunters by nature. It’s something about the chase that excites him. What fun is a game of tag if the target stands there in plain eye sight screaming “tag me!” “tag me!”? It is 2016 and things have changed from the days of my grandmother and grandfather. Once upon a time, the man brought home the bacon and the woman cooked it (see what I did there lol). But in all seriousness, it was the man’s “job” to provide and the woman would usually stay home, cook, clean, and raise the kids. The man’s dinner was ready when he got there, she would iron his clothes, he would pay the bills, take care of the grass, and take out trash.

As time progressed we saw the woman come out of that role. We know historically this happened around 1914 when women had to occupy jobs while their men went off to fight in WW1. The ladies exchanged their aprons for work uniforms and let’s just say we’ve been finding the balance ever since.

I had a conversation with a guy friend of mine asking if his woman made more money than he did how would he feel. His response, “oh naw, I’ll have to get another job”. This man is willing to work another job, spending less time with his wife and children, just so he can make more money. PRIDE!

We are now taught 50/50. Finances are 50/50. Parenting 50/50. But I am a believer of letting the man lead. Does this mean that a woman has no say? Nooooo. You better believe my husband will hear what I have to say lol. But letting him lead is having the confidence that he will make the best decisions for you and the family under the leading of the Holy Ghost. As women, when we try to lead him we create DIvision and confusion. And we know anything with 2 heads is a monster.

Women are fabulously balancing motherhood, marriage, work, and ministry! And for my single sisters (myself included), don’t get down on one knee asking a man to do life with you because 1) he is not ready 2) and He showed you that in his actions 3) A man will make his intentions known from jump 4) In what other situations will you have to lead if you are convincing him to be with you? and 5) You are worth more than that.

Going back to that video…that girl didn’t have any real friends! I digress.

Because my “main” audience are women like me let me say this before I close. You have a lot to offer and anyone would be lucky to have you. If you’re like me, you have a list of things that you want to accomplish by a certain time. PH. D by 28, married by 29, first kid by 31 (don’t judge me lol, I’ll be 26 in September). Seriously, if it doesn’t happen like that I won’t manipulate God’s plan to fit my timeline. Don’t you dare propose to a man because you think you are “running out of time”.

Who knows, maybe you’ll make more money than him, maybe he’ll cook (Lord knows I don’t), maybe you won’t adhere to the same traditions as those before us, but some things should not change.

Last thing, I once had this guy who broke up with me because he said my success was intimidating…do you think I “turned down” to make him feel comfortable? Nope! I went harder, got another degree, and kept being great. The Lord will send you someone who matches your awesomeness and you won’t have to convince him. He’ll see you and he’ll know.

Until next time,

Coach Jaleesa