To my husband, who has read every single word I’ve written—even the ones I didn’t want you to read. Thank you for knowing every detail of my life and still choosing to love me. Your support means so much to me and I’m so grateful to God to be your wife. You are my best friend and a gift that keeps on giving. You were worth the wait, the heartache and the disappoint of the past. I appreciate you for loving the broken little girl, the confused adolescent and the woman I am becoming. I love you baby!
Meet The Robinsons
*ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum* The sound of his heart as I lay on his chest. This is really my life! I get to wake up to this fine bald headed man every morning. His alarm goes off and I peek from under the covers to watch him prepare for the day. As soon as he gets up I roll over to his side of the bed so I can enjoy his scent a little while longer. I can tell time by him because his routine is the same every morning. We make small talk as he gets ready to depart. He carefully looks over his cologne collection to see which one he’ll wear for the day. I wait anxiously to smell his choice. He tells me he loves me (every morning), kisses me before he leaves (every morning) and tells me to have a great day (every morning). We chat throughout the day. I still get that feeling in my stomach when he texts me. Sometimes it’s an “I love you” text, sometimes it’s a fun fact, an article he wants to share, or a “babe, are you hungry?” text. I can’t wait for him to get home!! I literally countdown the minutes until he walks in. I get mad at traffic sometimes for prolonging the process. I jump and run to the door as I hear the keys shaking. BABYYYYYYYYYYYY I missed you! He meets me with the same excitement! I give him a few moments of silence because I know he’s had a long day. I then say, “happy and crappy”. This is my way of asking what was the best part of your day and what was your least favorite part. He normally says his happy is coming home to me and his crappy is maybe something that happened at the office. When he gets home my attention is on him. People call and if it’s not an emergency I’ll tell them, “let’s text…my hubby is home”. Why? Because I actually like him. Everyone knows I love him but I like him as a person too. I don’t want to spend our quality time giggling with my girlfriends when we could be playing a game or watching Netflix….or going out…or talking about politics, sports, Christianity, current events…or whatever our hearts desire. I like my husband lol. And then the debate begins. The debate that makes the happiest of couples despise one another if it’s not checked…WHAT’S FOR DINNER? I usually say, “whatever you want babe”…his answer? “no babe whatever you want”….we go on like this for about 5 minutes until one of us finally says something and the other agrees lol.
Speaking of….since I know you’re reading this….can we do Zaxby’s tonight? Xoxo
Sorry guys…so ummmm where was I? Yeah…ok so we eat and enjoy the rest of our evening whether it’s taking a walk downtown, playing jenga, watching the game, catching up on our show, watching a stand up comedy or just talking. I didn’t write this with the intent to tell you my everyday routine but literally a glimpse of the love I receive every day. My Saved, Single and Successful readers have been with me through this entire journey of embracing my singlehood to actually becoming a wife (I’m just as surprised as you are lol).
The funny thing is that up until this very moment I didn’t realize that I started the blog one year ago (April 14, 2016). The blog was started because of an assignment given to my friend by her mentor. The assignment was to basically write a paper talking about people in the bible who were single who did great works. Encouraging her to write, I set down and wrote too but I put my own spin to it (See my blog post “Single and Satisfied?”) and that is how the blog was birthed.
It Went Down In The DMs
Brandon and I met about 9 years ago. It was the summer after we graduated from high school. He sent me a message that was super cute but before responding I had to check out his page. Uggggggghhhhhhh he went to Brunswick (my rival high school) but I could get over it. I had to make sure he didn’t have any profile pictures with his middle finger up (that was so childish to me lol), I had to make sure he could spell and I had to make sure he wasn’t messy…he checked out for all the preliminaries lol.
I messaged him back asking about his plans for the summer and his plans for the fall. He told me he would be working at a factory all summer and that in the fall he would be attending ODU on a ROTC scholarship. The conversation got deeper and deeper, more and more interesting, and then of course he asks me for my number. He claims he couldn’t send anymore messages via facebook because he had some type of daily quota…I’ve never heard this in my life lol but I gave him my number. We talked every day for hours (when we weren’t working our summer jobs). He asked me to go out for the first time…our first date was Cracker Barrel which is why I chose Cracker Barrel for our breakfast after our wedding.
Guess who our waitress was! My sister…that wasn’t weird at all *side eye*. I met him there because I didn’t want him to pick me up from my house just in case he was 1) crazy 2) weird in person 3) a stalker 4) all of the above. Because you know how this story ultimately ends you know that I didn’t think he was any of those things lol. The whole summer of 2008 we were inseparable but I couldn’t really read him. We were hanging out, talking all the time, but he didn’t try to kiss me or have sex with me. Now you have to remember this is 17 year old Jaleesa. I was broken, wounded, I didn’t know who I was and to make matters even worse I was just sexually abused 3 weeks prior to meeting him. Looking back at that time in my life I’m so glad that he wasn’t aggressive because that would have been the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.
Love In This Club (the Remix) by Usher and Beyonce’ featuring Lil Wayne had just come out in May….let me tell you something…I listened to that song EVERY DAY! That was my joint….and if you catch me on the right day I might bump it now lol. Brandon hated that I loved that song so much because when we would go out I would play it on repeat…he was and still is so patient with me lol. So the day we got married I played it on repeat as I got my makeup done. All I could do was laugh thinking of that summer in 2008.
Going our Separate Ways
The summer came to an end and it was time for us to go our separate ways. I was starting my journey at Liberty University and he was going to Old Dominion University. I left a little bit earlier than he did because I had band camp. I have to admit I didn’t do my best at keeping in touch just because I was getting acclimated to being away from home, meeting new people and just college in general. He would call to check on me and he would always say “how’s your boyfriend?”. I would always laugh and say, “boy, you know I don’t have a boyfriend”. Our conversations grew smaller and smaller, shorter and shorter and the times between them grew larger and larger. One day when he called and asked how my boyfriend was I answered and said “he’s fine”. The silence was piercing. I don’t remember too much after that concerning that conversation. But get this I stopped talking to Brandon to be a side chick (See Confessions of a Side Chick).
This is what happens when you don’t know who you are. You ignore a person who has invested in, who has shown interest and positive intent and who has a pure heart…because you are addicted to dysfunction. I was so addicted to dysfunction that I had the nerve to tell Brandon (years later) that I didn’t think he liked me because he didn’t try to have sex with me. That’s where I was stupid….he liked me and that’s why he didn’t try to violate me ohhhhh but would I learn.
Meet Me at Burger King
As the years progressed we both found ourselves in other relationships. He looked happy, I would roll my eyes when I saw him with the other people. I was actually single for 95% of the time we weren’t “together” (no exaggeration) lol. I would always respect his relationships. Throughout the years, if we were home (Emporia/Lawrenceville) at the same time visiting family we would meet at the Burger King parking lot just to talk. It was good, genuine convo. After we went to the courthouse to get our marriage license we ate in the Burger King parking lot like old times…laughing about this crazy journey of ours.
I wasn’t looking to be in a relationship.Coach Jaleesa was thriving and not to mention I had just gotten dumped (See Facebook Official).The last thing I was trying to be in was a rebound relationship…no matter how much I loved Brandon. For that reason, I had my guard up. He was saying all the right things, doing all the right things, and just being him (caring, attentive, loving). And then it happened, I allowed myself to love again…even though it was against what I teach. There are exceptions to every rule, right? We kept it hush hush for months. Not because we were ashamed or hiding but simply because it was nobody’s business lol….TO BE CONTINUED.
I could write about this all day but I’m going to stop here. In another blog I’ll write about the wedding, why we got married so fast, the engagement, long distance dating, etc…andddddd my honey is going to write too J Thank you guys for being so patient with me. I’m still in transition and learning how to manage being a wife and entrepreneur but I’m enjoying the journey so far.
Mrs. Jaleesa R. Robinson
B.K.A Coach Jaleesa
Happy Wife, Happy Life