Expectation vs Reality

Expectation vs Reality

I’m staring at you…you’re staring at me. The first to blink is the loser…my eyes are watering…I don’t know how much longer I can hold it. *Sigh* welp that was cool while it lasted but apparently clothes don’t blink in a staring contest and no matter how long I stare at them they won’t fold themselves. *shrugs*

I’m over here feeling like Tamela Mann, “truth is I’m tiiiiedd” lol and there is so much to do.  And even in my tiredness I get some type of joy in having my husband come home to a clean house even if he doesn’t see all the details. Not to mention since the last time I wrote a blog I’ve gotten a full time job, moved into a new place, and officially moved to Jacksonville (I drove back and forth the first 2 months).

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Meet The Robinsons

Meet The Robinsons

To my husband, who has read every single word I’ve written—even the ones I didn’t want you to read. Thank you for knowing every detail of my life and still choosing to love me. Your support means so much to me and I’m so grateful to God to be your wife. You are my best friend and a gift that keeps on giving. You were worth the wait, the heartache and the disappoint of the past. I appreciate you for loving the broken little girl, the confused adolescent and the woman I am becoming. I love you baby!

Meet The Robinsons

*ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum* The sound of his heart as I lay on his chest. This is really my life!

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Facebook Official

Facebook Official

What’s on your mind? The question that Facebook has always asked. The question that is sometimes filled with the truth and for others what they wish their truth was. You don’t have to stunt for the book…We know you in real life lol. I have seen relationships begin and end. I’ve seen job promotions and the start of new businesses. I have watched friends carry their babies for 9 months and I’ve seen those same babies get ready for their first day of school. I have cried with Facebook friends as they have had to bury loved ones, celebrated with them as they have moved, graduated and got a new car. I’ve seen the weight loss pics, the sweating in the gym pics, and if you’re like me, gain some of it back pics (me and food need to break up for real this time lol).

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The Ugly Truth: Looks Matter

The Ugly Truth: Looks Matter

 Before I get started I just want you to know I’m not shallow…ok thanks. Is it me or does it seem like people who are married tell single folk to not put so much emphasis on looks. Yettttt, all the while, their spouses are attractive. So it’s ok for your boo to be fine but mine gotta look like gum on a sidewalk as long as he loves the Lord?? Ok, I went too far. But seriously, I’m tired of hearing people say looks aren’t everything because they will fade…looks don’t matter…get you someone who will treat you right…blah blah blah.

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He Cheated...I Stayed

He Cheated...I Stayed

Lunch with a Side of Deal Breakers

One day after a lunch date, we were listening to a popular radio show that talked about deal breakers in relationships and what different couples went through and why they got divorced. Carl asked me what was my deal breaker. “ Having a baby outside of our marriage. If you ever do that then it’s over”. He immediately got very somber. I could tell he was trying to shake it..I followed up with the same question. “I don’t have one, I would stay with you no matter what.

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Confessions Of A Side Chick

Confessions Of A Side Chick

Yoooooo!!! It’s been a minute. Please charge it to my head and not my heart. I’ll be honest….Yes, I haven’t written because of my schedule (currently in New York now, speaking in New Hampshire tomorrow) but to be honest I haven’t written because of fear. How do you follow up on a blog that has over 15,000 readers? I was like, “bruh, there is absolutely nothing I can say at this point that will measure to that”. Thennnnn I realized how silly I sounded. My job is to write, not keep count of who is reading. But in all honesty, thank you for sharing my work. I couldn’t have done it without you sharing and reposting…you guys are dope. Ok, enough of that mushy stuff. *Sigh* Today’s blog is “Confessions of a Side Chick”. Let’s be clear, I am not glorifying this “position” in the least bit. However, I would be lying if I said I hadn’t played the role. In my situation, I didn’t know I was the side chick at first buttttt then even after I found out he was involved with someone I didn’t stop dealing with him. Here’s the story.

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Divorced at 19

Divorced at 19

Virginia:

The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen and under the age of sixteen may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriage is not recognized. (The VA law concerning marriage)

 

I was 15 when I got married. There was no white dress, no wedding planner, no matching bridesmaids’ dresses, not even a ring. I got married in a garage, on a Sunday, after church. As a matter of fact, there was no preacher to officiate this sacred union of holy matrimony.

The date was January 8, 2006 and I was scared but ready…or so I thought. My husband and I stayed married for about 2.5 years before I committed adultery with someone from my school. I mean he wasn’t mad because we were separated at the time anyway.

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Let's Make America Great Again: My Experience at A Trump Rally

Let's Make America Great Again: My Experience at A Trump Rally

My President is Black

So my first time voting was in 2008. I was a freshman at Liberty University, the world’s largest Christian school. Liberty is a very conservative school and they are clear about their views. I love my alma mater J I can remember being an 18-year-old freshmen standing there in the school’s arena awaiting the results of the election in November of 2008. This life changing election that would put our first black President in office; I will never forget that day for the rest of my life. It was late in the evening and myself along with a remnant of other African American students patiently waited to see if our vote would make a difference. Then it happened, California turned blue making Barack Obama our President.

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Trading Places

Trading Places

Hello My Lovelies!

Excuse my tardiness, school is back in session and my assignments are due on Thursdays too. I’m still finding balance…but you understand, right? I might move the blog to Friday ;- ) So today I want to talk about gender roles. I’m gonna touch on a little bit of everything but you know I want to hear your opinion lol.

So yesterday I posted a video on my personal Facebook page of what APPEARED to be a young lady proposing to her man. Let me paint the pic for you! She, with her little white dress, got down on her knees and said something lol. Because they were in a loud club I don’t know exactly what she said but that’s neither here nor there. He looks at the ring, sips his drink, and his posture kinda gave me a “that’s what’s up” vibe. I didn’t expect him to do cartwheels or cry but thennnnn, when she gets up off the floor, she has to pull him up to embrace her -_-.

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My View of You....Through My Blue Eyes

My View of You....Through My Blue Eyes

An Open Letter to Black People From A White Guy:

 

Before I begin, I want you to understand that I do not race hate. I love all races. That being said, I strive to usher in an era of peace and love between all people. I don’t have national or international influence (yet) but I do have influence within my own sphere of the world. My purpose for writing this is not to divide or cause strife but to bring understanding. Understanding precedes healing. Now…. Let’s do this.

 

Dear Black People,

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I Love A Black Man and One Day I'll Raise A Black Son

I Love A Black Man and One Day I'll Raise A Black Son

This is a long one guys....

As I write this, warm tears fall down my face. As I write this, I am filled with anger. As I write this, I feel helpless. And sadly, as I write this, I fear that my black father, my black brothers, my black cousins, or my black friends could be the next hashtag that floods my timeline.

I have struggled with words all day. I have been on the phone with people ALL day as they voice their frustration, fear, and helplessness. I woke up with this heaviness that I can’t explain. My heart was already heavy for #AltonSterling but then to hear and SEE the death of #PhilandoCastile was a bit much.

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Sorry! I Won't Be Silent

Sorry! I Won't Be Silent

Hello my Saved, Single, and Successful Readers!!!!!
 

I hope everyone is having a great day so far! Now, let’s get to it. The NBA finals are over and the Warriors took a “L” in a very close game to King James and the Cavs. Chile, I was clutching my pearls the whole game. It was so close! 

In the beginning, the series looked as if Steph Curry and the Warriors would bring the title back home for a second time. After game 6, the Warrior fans weren’t so sure anymore. No one in NBA history had ever come back from 3-1 in the finals and win the whole thing. It was sooooo unbelievable that Ayesha Curry, wife of Warriors’ Star Steph Curry decided to tweet about it. 

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DTR: So What Is This?

DTR: So What Is This?

Sooooooo about last week…things got a little out of hand so I wanted to clear the air. If you have not read last week’s blog entitled, “Am I Allowed To Be Saved, Single, and Sexy?” go check it out. The topic caused a little debate on social media, some response videos were made, and some things were said. Last week’s blog got 843 readers (the most read Saved, Single, and Successful blog post to date).  I want to reassure you that I accept and welcome opposing views HOWEVER, it is my desire to keep it nice. If comments get out of hand I will delete them, this is a no hate zone *wink wink*. 

Do you like me? Circle Yes, No, or Maybe. Do you remember when it was that easy?

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Am I Allowed To Be Saved, Single, And Sexy?

Am I Allowed To Be Saved, Single, And Sexy?

mod·es·ty: behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.

I have a feeling some people won’t agree with me about this subject and I’m totally ok with it lol. Before you try to stone me hear me out. I am young, I like to look nice, and in the words of the old folk, I am “shapely” lol. Being a lady who stands at 5’11” without heels and who is on the “blessed” side I understand everything is not for me. Things that women who are 5’5” can wear I cannot get away with. There are certain cuts I have to stay away from, certain fabrics that are not flattering, and styles that I only rock in my dreams lol. Before we get all the way into this, I AM NOT IN ANY FORM OR FASHION SHAMING MEAGAN GOOD! I am using her as a point of reference. In the same sense, I am not painting Ayesha Curry as a perfect angel who can do no wrong.

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Why You Should NOT Bust The Windows Out His Car

Why You Should NOT Bust The Windows Out His Car

If you are a millennial like myself (someone born between 1981-1997) it is safe to say that you have been through a breakup (or a few). Again, if you’re anything like myself in my earlier years these breakups would be accompanied by a pint of ice cream, a few good movies, and a playlist that could make the toughest of men cry.

You know it’s real when you start to delete the sweet texts, change the relationship status on Facebook, and delete the number (even though you know it by heart…it’s really psychological). Everything reminds you of this person and the good times you shared and then slowly but surely, you kinda just get over it. Your song comes on Pandora and you actually let it play all the way through without throwing stuff. You have even graduated a bit by unblocking them on all social media outlets. I must admit breakups are hard but manageable and in due time everything will be “back to normal” …whatever that is.

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Sex and the Single Woman

Sex and the Single Woman

*WARNING: This post is about sex and celibacy. Read at your own risk*


3 years, 4 months, 13 days, 10 hours, 16 mins, 32, 33, 34, 35 (you get the point) seconds since that day! The last time I allowed myself to be tricked. Let's talk about it.I told you this blog was transparent so if you can't handle hit the X in the corner of the screen.

We don't like to talk about sex in church. We say that we shouldn't have sex outside of marriage, which is true. We know that fornication is wrong...another fact. But if you’re anything like me you like to ask questions lol. Besides the obvious reasons why we should abstain from sex outside of marriage, I wanted to share other reasons as well.

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I Can Pay My Own Bills

I Can Pay My Own Bills

Anyone who knows me understands that I love the Lord. You may also know that I didn't grow up in church so I have a deep love for 90's and early 2000's R&B too. Hey! No judging! Everything from Usher to Brandy, Blackstreet and Dru Hill to the sultry sounds of Toni Braxton....love them all! So I was listening to my Destiny's Child  greatest hits CD not too long ago and as I was skipping by "Say My Name" I heard the intro to "Bills, Bills, Bills". BTW, Destiny's Child is the group that starred Beyonce'...ok now that we got that out of the way.

 I listened for a while then continued to skip through (I think I was looking for "Girl") then I heard the intro to "Independent Women". "Ok J, we're glad you have an appreciation for Destiny's Child but what is your point?" I'm so glad you asked :-)
 

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Single and Satisfied?

Single and Satisfied?

I said I was going to be transparent, right? That may have been an understatement.

Gen 2:18: The Lord God said "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him".

When looking at singleness we often quote the above scripture to support why we shouldn't be single. What we have to realize is singleness is not punishment nor is it bad. I went to Liberty University, the WORLD'S largest Christian school...so you could probably imagine the pressure of marriage that lingered in the atmosphere. "Ring by Spring...Ring by Spring"...that was the common phrase that was heard around campus...meanwhile, I'm struggling deciding what I want for dinner *shrugs*.

 

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